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| Name |
Bill |
| Member Since |
08/30/2004 |
| Age |
10 |
| Gender |
Male |
| What pet would you prefer? |
Dog |
| Location |
Tempe USA |
| Home Town |
Phoenix, AZ |
| Primary MEETin group |
MEETinPHOENIX |
| High School |
Gerard, Phoenix, AZ |
| College |
ASU, Tempe, AZ |
| Language |
Tome un semestre del espanol. El Babelfish traductor es muy provechoso. |
| Occupation
Viceroy of North Tempe :) |
Your Interests
Making people laugh so hard that beer comes out their nose. |
Favorite Music
DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:00 am - Went to the vet. Bummer.
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe -- For now
Surgery in Mexico -
Last October when I was down in Mexico, I had to have emergency surgery done. I was in an accident and I needed to have a plate put in my head. Just before the Mexican
surgeon performed the work, he said, "Now I want you to be carefull, this plate is hot." |
Favorite Books
Believe it or not you can read this!...this is pretty amazing!
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid! Aoccdrnig to a rscheeachr at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a
wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in
the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it
wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought
slpeling was ipmorantt!
And Shila from MeetinMemphis pointed out:
In ancient Greek writings, they never put spaces in-between their words or used punctuations. It wasn't necessary becausetheyalreadyknewsomeadditionaltricksabout
howthemindcomprehendedwordswhilereading. =) |
Favorite TV Shows
PBS HD, PBS Create, PBS World, Tempe city council meetings, any Star Trek, Connections, the Know channel.
A cool story I got from a friend :)
One day, when I was a freshman in high school,
I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.
His name was Kyle.
It looked like he was carrying all of his books.
I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?
He must really be a nerd.'
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.
They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.
His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.
He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.
My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.'
He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!'
There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.
He said he had gone to private school before now.
I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends
He said yes.
We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.
I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!
'He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.
When we were seniors we began to think about college.
Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem.
He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak .
Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.
He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!'
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.
'Thanks,' he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began:
'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends...
I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.'
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the
story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.
'Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.'
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.
Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse.
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Favorite Movies
Ode to Granny from the Squidbillies
If you were a cowboy and you were dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would make you really mad if you turned around and he was reading a magazine.
Before criticizing someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you'll be a mile away and have their shoes.
Yes, it's true that whenever you hear a bell ring, an angel gets their wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, an angel gets set on fire.
Consider the daffodil, and while you're doing that, I'll be over here going through your stuff.
If scientists discover lightning is full of vitamins, do you hide from it or not?
If a man speaks in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? :P CAW!!!
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Movies Bill Reviewed
Star Trek
( More Movies )
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About Me
I'm a Phoenix native, born at St Joseph's. I graduated from Arizona State University with a Bachelor's Degree in Electrical Engineering. |
Why I joined
To make people laugh so hard that beer comes out their nose!
***
Purported actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays:
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature Canadian beef.
She had a deep throaty genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.
Even in his last years, Grand pappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
Shots rang out, as shots are want to do.
The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame; maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
He was deeply in love. When she spoke he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
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My Best MEETin event story ( please only fill in after you have been to an event )
I guess it would be all the times I made someone laugh so hard that beer came out their nose.
More MEETin Stories
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 <-( Larry says ;-)
Bill this one is long overdue! Everyone knows Bill as the Host with the cool pool parties every summer as well as other great events during the year. Not much else to say since all the other testimonials have really said it all. Good to see ya again at the Yardhouse last Friday Night....And may the Party Always Continue.........!
 <-( Sophie says ;-)
Bill is so sweet...He doesn't flat out say, but I know that he misses me whole lot. :) All that waiting might pay off soon. :p
 <-( Larie says ;-)
Bill is THE BEST robo c*#k blocker you've ever seen! Super stelthy moves! DROP IT!
 <-( Sherry says ;-)
Bill, thank you for the reminder that the most important "season" of my life is about to start. I can't believe I almost forgot about it, what would I ever do without you reminding me?! chiCAW, oh, and GO STEELERS! :P
 <-( Terry says ;-)
Bill gave me a socket set to fix the patio donations :)
 <-( Patty says ;-)
Bill, Bill, Bill.... I have missed you! I didn't realize it had been since March. What's my problem? OK, I am going on the calendar and will sign up for an event for this week. My son will be proud of me! haha
 <-( Vanessa says ;-)
Bill is the best. I think I got VERY lucky that my first event was one of Bill's pool parties!
 <-( Selene says ;-)
All Hale the Grand BEEEEEEELLLLLLLL! Ruler of Wonderously Magnificent Meetin Parties and Events!
 <-( Andrea says ;-)
I'm a fan of ANYONE who is a friend of "Aunt Bea!"
And dead or alive, Stingy's legacy is FOREVER! LONG LIVE STINGY!!
<-( Sherry says ;-)
Stingy must die.
 <-( Tracy says ;-)
'Litre' Bill rocks! Just wanted everyone to know that!
 <-( Sharon says ;-)
Bill has the best pool parties in the Valley!
<-( Selene says ;-)
BEEEEEELLLLLLLL has a new profile pic up every ten minutes, it's amazing any of us knows what he looks like! But in truth he is a great guy to chill with!
 <-( Alison says ;-)
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL.
<-( Selene says ;-)
BEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!! I will give a free 15 minute neck and shoulder massage to anyone who can beat BEEEEEEEELLLLLL at thumb-wrestling.
 <-( Brian says ;-)
You should have seen him back in the day. Ever since then he's just gotten more Bill.
 <-( Debra says ;-)
Bill you’re a fun person to hang out with. Oh, it’s been a freaking century sense I have seen you! Lookin’ forward to hanging out tonight. Message me your Phone#. :)
 <-( Shawna says ;-)
Hello!!!!
<-( Shawna says ;-)
My wits always desert me when Bill's bulletins have "Wings" in the title. This makes me RSVP uncontrollably.
<-( Shawna says ;-)
Bill likes to bulletin me then change the details after I RSVP to make me beholden to show up on his terms :P
More Testimonials >>
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